


I'll Wear Your Heart Close to Mine

by VKL42



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-23 00:44:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9632159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VKL42/pseuds/VKL42
Summary: Caleb and Ben both already knew they loved the other well before their soulmarks confirmed it. They also both knew they could never let the other one (or anyone else for that matter) find out.Of course that means they both found out the truth eventually.Thank God for mishaps in frozen rivers to finally make these two fools figure everything out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to my wonderful girlfriend, who helped me tremendously with working out the bugs in this. If y'all could send some love her way either by checking out her [tumblr](http://bloodthirstypandasfromthesky.tumblr.com) or, more specifically, [this post](http://bloodthirstypandasfromthesky.tumblr.com/post/156898328956/since-its-the-solemn-duty-of-the-higher-education) that would be so lovely. She's an absolutely fantastic beta reader.

The name had appeared along Ben’s left side a few months before his 15th birthday. Arguably it should have appeared well before then. Arguably he’d already known it was going to appear well before it actually did. Arguably it was this knowing that had made him dread the soul mark’s appearance so much in the first place. 

“Caleb Brewster”

In scrawling black ink along his ribcage, Caleb’s own handwriting plain as day. Branding him permanently with a truth he’d always known: he was in love with Caleb Brewster. Always had been, always would be. 

No one could ever know. 

Ben was a few months past 15 when he went away for college. The whole town was proud. He was to be the youngest member of Yale’s incoming class.

Ben tried to convince himself academic achievement was the only thing pushing him to enroll. Somehow it still managed to feel like a convenient excuse to run away.

Caleb barely said anything to him in the days leading up to his departure. It wasn’t that they’d avoided each other, but rather the time they spent together filled itself with silence and the air between them felt heavy with things unsaid. 

Caleb found him the morning Ben was supposed to leave, lurking in the little glen they used to play in as children. It was early, sun not quite up yet. Ben sat watching the grass sway softly, waiting for the sun to crest over the trees. Caleb sat down next to him and the two of them watched as the sun rose, the air softening from its crisp pre-dawn chill into something closer to warmth. 

It was Caleb who eventually moved to get up. He stood, offering his hand to pull Ben up too. His hands were rough, familiar, calloused in a comforting and capable kind of way. Ben’s hands weren’t soft, but they weren’t working hands either. Ben loved Caleb’s hands. He kept waiting for Caleb to let go, to drop his hand now that they were both standing, but their hands stayed clasped. Ben was suddenly aware of the mere inches of space between them. His heart quickened. 

In a moment, Caleb’s eyes lifted to Ben’s face. He’d barely looked at Ben all week, instead casting his gaze somewhere at the ground around Ben, as if skirting around the edges of Ben’s form. He looked Ben over searchingly, as if he were memorizing Ben’s shape while he still could. Finally Caleb’s gaze locked onto Ben’s eyes, direct and urgent. Ben stopped breathing, his heart quickening again. Caleb swallowed slowly, licking his lips before pursing them. Ben inhaled the tiniest bit, throat tight.

Something set in Caleb’s eyes, his shoulders relaxed and his jaw settled in that familiar way that meant he’d just made up his mind on something. He dropped his gaze away from Ben’s face, eyes aiming somewhere over Ben’s left shoulder now, resolute in their trajectory. 

The moment quietly shattered. Ben breathed in again, strangely disappointed at the newfound air in his lungs. 

“You take care now, okay, Tallboy?” Caleb finally said, softly, gently.

Ben nodded.

Caleb let his hand go.

He stepped back from Ben and jerked his head back towards town. 

“Should be heading back now, yeah? Don’t want you to be missing your ride. Can’t have our very own Setauket genius showing up late now can we?”

Ben laughed, a tiny chuckle manifesting more in the lines of his smile than anything else. 

“No, we can’t have that.”

Caleb turned and took a few steps back towards the main path, pausing and tilting his head back towards Ben when Ben didn’t immediately follow. 

Ben shook himself out of his reverie, his reluctance, and followed after Caleb. The two of them walked quietly back into town, settling back into their youthful camaraderie. It was good, Ben felt good, like he could breathe and smile again. Something settled in his chest; it still felt heavy but he supposed he could live with that.

He supposed he could live with leaving a part of himself back in Setauket, if only it meant he got to hold on to this, to these moments. He supposed he could live off of memories and longing. 

He supposed he would have to. 

//

Caleb watched as Ben rode away. 

His heart ached. 

His wrist burned.

He glanced down, quickly tugging his left sleeve to fully cover his wrist. The letters there called for his attention, aching more strongly than they had in a month. 

B e n j a m i n T a l l m a d g e . 

Benjamin Tallmadge, neatly tucked along his pulse point just above his left palm. Benjamin Tallmadge, neat letters, in neat handwriting, as beautiful as the boy they represented. 

Benjamin Tallmadge.

Caleb had never let himself dream so big as to think he’d ever see those letters appear on his skin. And yet the morning they had, he’d been sure he’d woken up inside a dream. For one, glorious moment, everything had been breathless and clear. 

Then he had snapped back to reality, the breath and clarity leaving him in one stabbing gasp. 

His wrist continued to burn. He turned away from the now tiny figure in the distance. 

He supposed it was fitting, that he carried his heart on the cuff of his sleeve. Big in life, so in love, Caleb had always known of himself. 

The letters seared once more, begging him to turn around and catch one last glimpse. Caleb didn’t indulge. He figured he would have to get used to not indulging in this sort of thing anymore. 

Ben had his own life to lead, a good one, Caleb knew. How could Ben have anything else? The letters on Caleb’s wrist could never be seen, could never, ever hinder that. 

If this was what love was, Caleb thought, then perhaps he could let himself burn for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [toosmallortootall](http://toosmallortootall.tumblr.com)


End file.
